To get into the spirit of Halloween I thought I would share a lovely story about my adventures to a staged haunted house. I have to say staged, because with my hobby (paranormal stuffs) I actually visit alleged haunted houses. Which I am surprisingly totally cool with.
But staged haunted houses? no thank you.
I think if I were on a therapist's couch I would have to say that it is a childhood memory that has scarred my desire to ever go to a haunted house.
I recall (to the best of my ability) having to go to a haunted house when I was, hmmm 4? or 5? I am sure I will find out once this is posted. My sister must have thought it would be a cute idea to take me to one. All I can remember is clinging to her friend, hiding in his shirt and screaming crying. The entire time. I love my sister, but that was possibly the worst Halloween idea for her little sister. I am not sure why they even allowed that, Don't those places have age requirements? Height requirements? Anywho. I hate those damn things now.
Fast forward to 2008. Brett and I are invited to go out with his sister and her friends to a haunted house in Dahlonega. I am a little reluctant but decide that I can do this. I am a big girl now! oh boy was I wrong. I was getting freaked out just waiting in line, you know they always have the dressed up people wandering around to spook you before you even go inside the place. So, we dole out our $20+ to get scared and we make our way in.
I had a great plan for tackling this place. Brett is like a wall, so if I hide behind him I can slide right through this joint unscathed. I decide that I will just bury myself in the back of his shirt and zoom past all the spookies. And this plan actually worked for the most part. I would say I had sneaked by about 70% of the haunted house hiding on his coat tails. However, all good things must come to an end. I didn't prepare myself for a break in the line, which caused some lag and then everyone walking fast picking up the pace to cover the break. I didn't see this gap, or the need to speed up, because I was hiding in Brett's shirt so when he sped up I lost my grip and was on my own...
And then I had to open my eyes...To what you may ask? Well, as you all know, the haunted house employees look for people like me. The blatantly scared shitless. So I open my eyes to find no Brett, just a group of killer clowns and a creepy ass zombie chick trying to grab at me. So what did I do? I let my instincts kick in, and I reared back, and punched her. Right in the face, and ran back to my safety net, aka Brett's back side!
I think those guys need to be taught a lesson anyways, it is obvious the people like me don't want to be in their establishment anyways, so just leave us alone! Let's just say I got my moneys worth that night. And so did everyone with me. So now we all laugh about the time I decked the chick at the haunted house in the face. But no one has tried to sneak up on me or spook me, so I would say that is a win.
I now politely decline all invites to go to staged haunted houses, it is for their safety. Because I am nice like that.