Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Happy Trails

        We just took our new rv out on it's maiden voyage for Memorial Day weekend. I won't digress with the specifics of our new home on wheels, I don't need to tell you all what I own and where to find it. She is parked at an undisclosed location, and she is heavily insured. At any rate, we camped with family at a local lakeside national park/recreation campground. My dad was in charge of the reservations so that is why we were less than 35 miles of our homes. I can't decide if I like this arrangement or not. I guess it will do while Adeline is still so little in case there is some sort of emergency. 

        However, the gate keepers at this particular campground are straight up nazis. They are old, they are retirees, and their motto is "this is real life - we take shit seriously". One of the "rules" there is that there is a 2 dog max per campsite. We have 3 dogs. BUT my parents always camp next to us so we always say that Agadore belongs to them. We walk them separately to avoid any issue. We tied up Bacon and Banana at our site, and Agadore at mom's site, and they met in the middle to drink water and nap in the sun. This act of napping in the same vicinity was such a harsh crime that they (the park ranger) actually sent the gate keeper to come and yell at us, and threaten to kick us out without refund for allowing such a heinous act to occur. Once again, "this is real life-we take shit seriously". What is even better is that he actually thought we were to take him seriously, as he had arrived to deliver the bad news to us via his scooter, and sporting a helmet with a flame paint job. The helmet was almost as cool as his knee length black socks. I just don't understand, why not go bust chops at a neighboring campsite full of rowdy drunk tent campers? Or the people with one big ass dog that has been barking for 3 days straight. Who cares if I have 10 dogs, they aren't barking, biting, or bothering anyone. I guess that is why people just tent camp wherever they want to, and avoid situations like this altogether. 

        Aside from the non existent dog issue, our child was acting like a crack baby from Thursday until Monday. To say that she bounced off every surface of our rv is a severe understatement. For some reason we thought she would enjoy sleeping in a pack n play for the weekend. This would provide me with hours of evening reading time, I even brought 2 books just for safe measure. Looking back now I am laughing at myself for ever thinking I could enjoy an entire book for the next 18 years. Back to the sleep situation- I am convinced that in her little mind she sees that pack n play and thinks "death trap". 

      Night #1 consisted of 5.5 hours of straight screaming and crying to the point of almost throwing up. I rocked her, I tried to get her to sleep on the couch, on a pallet on the floor, in the bed, and repeat, and repeat. Around 1am she finally just quit, passing out face down on top of a dog and in between us on the big bed. This was the method of going to sleep for the next 4 days, naps included. The process of her winding down to get to sleep consisted of lots of rolling, crawling, bouncing, "accidentally" smacking me, "accidentally" smacking the dogs, making fart noises, and saying Thank You. What was supposed to be a relaxing weekend was absolutely exhausting. If I wasn't afraid that the old wrinkle bag gate keeper wouldn't come and give me a citation on his gay little scooter I would have probably just tied her to a chair at the campsite just to give us a break (totally kidding, I wouldn't tie her to anything, duct tape is much sturdier and harder to escape). 

Maybe our next excursion the camping gods will smile upon us, this time they obviously just looked on and laughed at us. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Marital Issues

Very often I will find myself in a conversation with Brett and think to myself, "this is the most laid back relationship I have ever been in."

I can count on one hand what I would call "real" arguments we have had, I could also tell you what they were about but I'm not up for airing dirty laundry today. I will say though that those few instances had nothing to do with either of us personally. That may have revealed a good bit.

To reiterate the point that we don't fight, here is just a sampling of an average Jones' marriage argument:

 me:  im back on the mission to find a dragon con houtel
 Brett:  No
Stick with finding a Houtel.
Also, Chad said he lives about 10 minutes away from dcon on the weekends and has an extra room
However, that would then require us not getting totally sloshed.
 me:  haha
well we can take turns perhaps
 Brett:  ?
 me:  you drink one night
 Brett:  What is this "take turns" you speak of?
me:  I drink the next
 me:  ya ya whatever
that's cool too
 me:  Ill get drunk in the mornings so ill be sober by night time. Problem solved.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day 2012

My second Mother's Day was a huge success.
Originally we were going to go to the Renaissance festival, but there was a 100% chance that it could be raining (100%? Really? After 99% just show, "damn guys, it's raining" on the screen).
Anyways, 100% rain for an outdoor festival is really not that fun I imagine. 

So Brett and Adeline made me breakfast - then Adeline was sweet enough to open my presents for me. To say that I am not a traditional kinda gal is a severe understatement. With that being said Brett has tuned into this so very nicely. I can assure you that none of the moms I know received some of the gifts I received. I got; a custom made super hero pencil skirt from Get Waisted, a Zombie game from Dr.No's comic book store, a framed picture of us, flowers, a card with a button to wear, and a can of gum. So, many of you reading this may have gotten the flowers or a picture, but the other stuff? Unlikely. I am now prepared to fight crime and eat brains, all at the same time. With minty fresh breath. 

Adeline took the longest nap in the history of naps (must have been the rain). So I busied myself with reading The Tenth Insight. After Adeline was up I decided we should go to one of my favorite places, an Antique Mall - god my dad would be proud. I can't figure out why, but I am obsessed with old treasures. Clearly I can't afford most old treasures, but I can window shop like a pro. After 36,000 square feet of oohing and aahing, and after cleaning up a pack of goldfish Adeline successfully spilled and I successfully ran over with the stroller I was done. I bought $7 worth of clip on earrings for Brett's grandma Lily. 

Apparently looking at crap you can't afford works up quite the appetite, so we started our search for food. We figured since it was 3:00 we had skipped the lunch crowd, but also beat the dinner crowd. WRONG. Our first few stops we were faced with a 1-2 hour wait. We decided to think outside the box, where do most people not take their moms on mothers day? A tavern! We waltzed right in with 0 wait time, high fives all around. I would like to point out a few scrumptious highlights from this tavern - the asparagus fries, and the white cheddar grit cakes. Mmmmm.

The day was concluded with the newest episode of Game of Thrones. That show is so messed up. In conclusion, I will take a day that involves super heroes, zombies, treasure hunting, and hanging out at a tavern any day.