Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Metric System

Brett was at Publix the other day and snapped this shot:

Which got me thinking, which can never be a good thing. 

I reallllllyyyyy want to know why America felt the need to stray from the pack (and by pack I mean the rest of the universe) and change things as simple as this date of the year situation, and oh you know, the metric system?

I understand people came to this "great nation" to start anew. Some were quite adamant about doing things differently. But things like the metric system - isn't that just a little far fetched? I am sure everyone got the point that everyone had strayed from the pack when they came over here and started killing off all of the natives. Yea yea, you lost your minds, and you aren't coming back. Got it. Below I have illustrated a sample checklist for the early pioneers.  

Check list: (or would it be Cheque list?):
-Arrive to the Americas safely.
-Start killing everything that isn't nailed down.
-Wonder how to feed everyone because the only one's that had any knowledge of the land are all now dead.
-Realize you should have asked questions first, killed later.
-Listen to stomachs growl.
-Try not to die of starvation.
-Try not to die of disease.
-Hope there is an engineer or really smart guy left, and develop entire new system of measurement. F*ck the man and his metric system. 
-Start writing the month, date, and year entirely backwards.

For some reason those last two bullet points on the checklist are jiving with the other, perhaps more pressing matters on the list. 

At any rate, I understand my timeline and sequence of events is a little skewed, so if you are an engineer, historian, or a smarty pants leave your comments to yourself. I am trying to be humorous. 

In other news, I made my very first ever meme. I am unsure why I thought I needed to do the PG version and type va jay jay. If a child has access to viewing this meme and even understands the context of it, as in, has watched and followed the Game of Thrones I think that not typing the word "vagina" is the least of my worries. That show is uh, intense to say the least. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Greek Yogurt.

I tried Greek yogurt for the first time, so I could be like the cool kids. I am pretty sure that my taste buds are going to murder me in my sleep tonight.

It's so bad I can't even come up with the appropriate amount of adjectives to describe my dismay. Oh who am I kidding of course I can- it has a; dull, chalky, dense, granular, vulgar taste to it. It's so thick you could choke on it (ya ya ya...
That's what she said). Anyways, it is utterly disgusting.

I know what some of you may be thinking, "Greek yogurt is delightful you must have gotten the wrong flavor". These same people are probably not reading this right now because they are at the gym for their second time today, or trying to savor the last few bites of a celery stick. But I can assure any naysayers that I actually tried 2 flavors- "wild strawberry" and "greek honey" (See above image). I would just like to point out that there aren't enough wild strawberries in the universe to make that stuff a tasty treat.

It was so depressing because I had such high hopes that it would be delectable. Even the lid said "Better than Good!". Really guys? Better than good? What gauge are you using for good-ness? Did you taste test with a goat? Because I have seen a goat chew on a beer can before, so you should probably upgrade to humans for such purposes.

In 25 years I haven't heard a peep about this crap, "greek yogurt" why now? Was regular yogurt not disgusting enough that they had to kick it up a notch? I know the culprit to the crap taste...protein...Which is what gives this snack its chalky texture.

How did they market this idea, "hey guys, I thought I would make this yogurt "better" by adding 10,000,000,000 grams of protein, it's so solid you almost have to chew it, oh and all these flavorings I have added don't do a damn thing to the bitterness, but we can still market it to any granola person alive". I then realized exactly how they decided to market it, they used John Stamos. For shame uncle Jessie. For shame.

I also tried kale this week, there just isn't enough time today to even try to go there...

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Use Your Words

This post is going to help me when I finally get around to scrapbooking. I haven't been writing down a lot of the little stuff about how much Adeline is learning and doing. I got an email from one of those parenting websites that said kiddos her age (15 months old) should know at least 3 words besides mama and dada. But for the sake of recollection my cutie patootie can say the following:
more ---- see video... holy cuteness batman (sidenote- why does she sound british?)
thank you

That is all I've got folks. Sorry there isn't a painfully funny story to go along with this post, but there is a video that is like, spectacular so you are welcome.