Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Money Fixes Everything

A couple of months ago we gave Adeline her first piggy bank, and she has spent the last couple of months hitting everyone up for spare change. She has even caught the entrepreneurial spirit and started some very creative attempts to earn money. For instance, she charged me for a band-aid that I already owned when I had a hangover a few weeks ago. She also started charging people for hugs. She is rather business savvy for not even being 2 years old.

Fast forward to this morning, I inform her that her piggy bank is empty because I took the money to the bank and put it in her savings account. She doesn't skip a beat and immediately turns to my mom to see if she has anything to spare for her newly starving piggy. Mom gives up her change, and explains to her that that is all that she has for now. I tell her that she needs to be sure to ask Papa next time she sees him because Papa always has change. Adeline takes note and continues to play.

Not long after she bumps her head and starts to cry. The following dialogue develops:
Adeline: "Mommy kiss it better?"
Me: "Sure." *plants kiss on forehead*
Adeline: "Nanny kiss it better?"
My mom: "Sure." *plants kiss on forehead*
Adeline: "Papa?"
Me: "Papa what? Do you want Papa to kiss it better? I think he is at work sweetie."
Adeline: "No. Papa's money!"
Me: "Papa's money will make you feel better?"
Adeline: "Uh huh. Papa's money better."

Parenting. I'm doing it right.

Additionally - I told dad this story when I got to the office this morning. Naturally on his way out for the day he said "I guess I better stop by your house and get that kid some money."
Adeline the entrepreneur strikes again. 

And yes, you can be jealous of my mad photo-editing skillz. I also spelled entrepreneurial without having to look it up. True story.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Crap That People Have Forgotten About: Movie Edition

For the November edition I have recalled another gem for you all. Although, this may be more of a "crap people never knew of to begin with" rather than forgot about. But it is reminiscent for me. Wait a tick... it grossed $47mil in the box office. You guys know what I am talking about.

An American Tail. Tail, instead of tale, cute right?
This movie was one of my favorites when I was little, I even had a large plush Fievel toy that I would drag around.

The film is about a little Russian mouse named Fievel Mousekewitz that emigrates to America with his family but soon is separated from them, and the movie is about his adventures to reuniting with them. Uh oh, I think that maybe I have said too much.
Another important factor to note: Fievel's clothes and hat are freakishly huge. Poor little bastard. No really, he was poor, that's why his clothes didn't fit.

Why would Russian mice want to move to America? Because we apparently have an abundance of mouse holes and crumbs on our floors. They also think originally that there are no cats in America either. Which I would be totally cool with.

They obviously learn that the cat bit is rubbish. Fievel during his adventures befriends a vegetarian cat named Tiger (what are the odds right?). Tiger's clothes are too small, and I think I worry about fictional characters wardrobes way too much.

Anyways, hands down best scene in the history of scenes is when this really weird fat lady mouse with a speech impediment screams out "WELEASE THE SECWET WEAPON!". Release the secret weapon for those of you who don't read speech impediment. My niece and I still yell this out on occasion, just for a giggle.

And lest we forget the song at the end of the movie "Somewhere Out There". Tearfully joyous.

If you wish to read a full synopsis imdb can hook you up: synopsis here.
It is kinda cute, imdb has a: warning, this synopsis may contain spoilers disclaimer. Heaven forbid we spoil the ending of the mouse movie.

To follow along with past editions of Crap That People Have Forgotten About go here.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Gratefully Grateful

It is November, I am still getting over the fact that it is no longer Halloween, and I have neighbors hanging Christmas lights already. I feel as though I am being whipped to and fro in some sort of time warp.

If you are on the ol' Facebook you have received information about how 321 of your friends are grateful for a variation of:
Their baby(s), their baby(s) daddy(s), their daddy(s).
        I added (s) to all of those because they surprisingly might apply. And I won't lie, I love the hell out of my baby, my man friend, and my family too. Technically, if you met someone who hated their children, spouse, and relatives then you may want to wear a helmet or a bullet proof vest next time you are around them. Anywho - my other peeve about a flood of Day 1-30 posts is that many people have committed to doing it, and then they flake like a crescent roll. They start smashing days together all haphazardly and then your news feed is disturbingly full, disturbingly fast.

I am here to inform the masses of the other things in life. And I don't want to follow any days, I am just going to commit to making this one post and then donezo.

I am rather grateful for:

  • Steam in the bag vegetables- Seriously, it's a glorious mix of convenience and borderline freshness. Birds Eye brand peas and mushrooms? Yes please! 
  • Robert Kirkman- the brain behind The Walking Dead, he took my mind to a whole new level of "what the f*ck". He also prepared my mind for the most likely scenario for the end of the world. 
  • Gel nail polish- this type of polish is what pulled me out of the grossly thick and long white tipped acrylic monstrosity nails that I sported for over 10 years. I will never go back. Never.
  • Skinny Girl Margaritas- All the drunk and half the calories, who can't be thankful for that. This beverage was the culprit for me thinking that I could make ice with my mind on my birthday. 
  • Shoes- I own too many, I have some really weird ones (zombies, zebras, buttons, mice, striped, polka dotted, leopard, etc), but I am thankful that I have an abundance of wacky choices every day. 
  • Pandora- Radio that I actually like, no annoying radio personalities, no commercials, a station for every mood and whim I may have, that's good stuff people. Otis Redding radio...ftw.
  • Frozen yogurt establishments- A psychologically unbalanced way to treat yourself. You pile a buffet's worth of shit on top of your frozen yogurt, and then relax after you waddle out of the joint because it was "just frozen yogurt". Genius. 
  • Dead people- If it weren't for such there would be no estate sales. Additionally, I wouldn't have had half of the adrenaline rushes in the last 5 years if it weren't for trying to find them during paranormal investigations. 
  • Humidifiers- I grew up with my dad having a humidifier in almost every room of the house. I now have to have them in every bedroom of our house, but we are sick way less than normal. 
  • Hair color- I started going gray at 18, so, hair color is like, astronomically huge for me. 
  • Vanilla flavored tootsie rolls- I am not really sure why I felt this was important enough for this list, but they are hella tasty. 
  • Weather app on my phone- I check it all day long, and am so reliant on it that I actually get mad at the sky when it doesn't correlate with what my app says it should be outside. I also have Vancouver saved so I can see what the weather is like for Brett's family, and I have Kenmare Ireland saved so I can see what it will be like when I move there. (I suspect around the time that the zombies show up). 
I know, you all were probably expecting something traditional and predictable and now you are all "that was just a list of material items, odd snacks, and booze, what a bitch.". Maybe I have missed the mark, but those things in that list are pretty rad. I am thankful for things that are good. The end.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Upcycled Work - Postcard Art Edition

I wanted to post about one of my favorite upcycled projects. I am in love with my post card art, and I use all recycled/second hand materials to make them. I have made a few over the years and here is how you can to:

Business reply mailer/postcard
electrical tape
acrylic paint
Embossing ink
Stamp of your choice
Embossing powder
Embossing gun
Printed card stock for a matting background
Frame for finished product
Here is a pic of my material spread before I got started and made a mess of it all:

1) Take postcard and tape of outer edges (I went about an 1'' all the way around the card).

2) Paint a thin layer of acrylic paint inside taped edges.
3) Allow to dry, and very carefully remove tape.
4) Stamp over acrylic paint with embossing ink.   --- I didn't take any pictures of the embossing process because it is messy, and I was too busy melting my fingers off to operate the camera! 
5) Sprinkle embossing powder/ remove excess powder.
6) Heat with an embossing tool gun. Please don't try to use a hairdryer, you will not get the same effect.
7) Mount card to card stock matting.
8) and frame!
9) ta da!

If you are like a few of my friends and you wish to skip through to step 9 and have one delivered to your doorstep just go to my etsy shop and buy one! They would make an excellent gift. I use all recycled and donated materials for every item I make.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

An Intro to Junk Drunk Jones

I feel like I have neglected the blog a little lately.
I blame my new etsy

I sell upcycled items and vintage treasures. A few people have asked where I get my inventory. Which I assume they mean the vintage goods because the other stuff comes from my super awesome craft room:

But yes, the vintage goods come from somewhere. I have always loved a good thrift store, but I have a new found obsession (or rather a love/hate relationship) with estate sales. Those bad boys can be hard to find sometimes, at least for exactly what I need.
I search Craigslist for upcoming estate sales but I feel that sites should make a search option for locating estate sales for people who aren't ballers. I know estate sale companies try to add "fluff" to their postings so that it appears they are selling some super high quality shit, but let's get real here - you are just unloading some dead woman's belongings. At any rate, some of the descriptions make me afraid to visit because I don't have a sugar daddy in tow. A bit swanky for Junk Drunk Jones.

And a note to people advertising your "own" estate sale... Don't have a yard sale and pretend that it is an estate sale. If you aren't dead, or your not moving, guess what? IT ISN'T AN ESTATE SALE. I want to see that you are selling everything but the awkwardly large collection of cats that you have accumulated.

And shoppers? Calm down. I understand we are all very excited to rummage through someone's life and snag our treasures before the next person spots them, but you guys need to cool it down a notch. If your fat ass is too lazy to drag around the box of stuff you have already "scored" don't be surprised if someone else tries to peek into it. No need to yell. In case you haven't noticed there's a lot of shit piled into boxes, assuming everyone knows that one box in particular belongs to you is asinine. Now, if someone picks up your child or that stupid dog you have shoved into your handbag like an accessory, that is another thing.

I feel like I am rambling. In a nutshell - I am working diligently to craft upcycled items for people to enjoy, and scouring thrift stores and bare knuckling my way through estate sales for some vintage treasures you all just can't live without. Stay tuned! It is going to be a fun, yet bumpy ride!