Monday, April 26, 2010

Cougar country

This is Cougar Country, so watch your back!

Let me start with this simple truth:
My husband is a complete and total ham.

One of his jobs is at the local Starbucks being a Barista. At this Starbucks he usually has the drive through window under control.
He is a cheeseball with the ladies (young and old), makes funnies with the guys etc... Which generates very generous tips for that location.

It also generates a crazy pack of cougars who now want Mr. Jones, and his red beard.

They give him their numbers, they invite him to ride bikes with them, they give him their "card". They look for him while he is on vacation. They bring their daughters in to meet him. They refuse to believe that he is married.

No matter what he says about his wife, or being married, they just keep on. A lot of people ask me if that worries me. I laugh of course, as you can see illustrated by green arrow left. Sometimes I will stop by to bring him dinner on his break, and every once in a while there will be a cougar in there, possibly on the prowl...Brett will introduce me, and oh the funny looks I get. Brett is fairly oblivious and crazy, illustrated by green arrow right.

So I can just see it now - on the 5 o'clock news: Girl gets mauled by a pack of Cougars in the Starbucks parking lot.

Thanks Mr. Jones, thanks a lot.

(as you can see from the illustration - these cougars typically have crazy hair, crazy bad tans, and drive really expensive cars- they are terrifying. I hear that if you make really loud noises, or pretend that you are already dead they will leave you alone)

possibly the coolest hobby ever

After a pretty spectacular investigation this weekend, I felt the urge to post about ghost hunting. I can't disclose info about what the team saw this weekend, so I figured I would post something that I wrote for our team's little blog (that hasn't quite taken off yet!)
so enjoy!
Things That go Bump in the Morning?

Why do investigations take place at night?
Why am I only seeing stuff at night?
Why do I hear strange things after I go to bed?
Why does blood drip from the wall after midnight?

Ok, so I made that last question up...but the others are legitimate questions we have heard throughout the years. They are good questions because there does seem to be an interesting correlation between paranormal activity and evening hours.

One theory we are kicking around is so simple we must share it first. People don't experience activity in there homes during the daylight hours because they aren't home. I hope that simplicity didn't offend, but it is true- if you are busy getting the kiddos to school and then do your 9-5 thing how do you expect to experience activity somewhere that you are not?

And oh how I would love to talk science to you all for the next theory - But I would rather let these guys explain the next idea. The following information is the reason why we, like many other groups, document solar and geomagnetic activity occurring in our little universe before every investigation.

So there you have it, ghosts aren't picky about what time of day it is - you just have to be at home to see or hear the usual activity in the home. The same things that go bump at night could go bump in the morning. And that just sounds weird, so I am closing on that note!

-Stefanie Jones, charter member

Have something you would like to see discussed? Email

Thanks Long Island Paranormal Investigators for the wealth of information!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Kohl's regime

So I stopped by the local Kohl's yesterday to pick up some sweet new shoes to go with this amazing little dress I bought a few weeks ago.
I may have accidentally picked up a few extra necessary items, but that's neither here nor there so moving along.
I head to the checkout counter, and its the usual hey how are you today exchange. and then...

16 yr old cashier: "Would you like to save 20% today by opening a Kohl's credit card?"

Me: "No thanks"

Cashier: "Do you mind me asking why?"

ARE YOU F*CKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? Of course I mind you nosy twit!

Me: "I really just don't want one, I don't shop here very often"

What I was thinking and keeping to myself was:
"What in the hell is going on in here? Would you like for me to go into an epic explanation of how companies like Kohl's totally rape their card holders in interest rates, and for how "easy" "simple" and "awesome" they may be they can really do some wonders for your credit score. Yes, I could get a card at the next 5 shops I walk into, but if someone say, 16 years old like yourself ran around doing this sort of bullshit you would never be able to get financing for that boob job you are going to want in about 4 years. "
Cashier: "You get coupons and scratch offs every single month, and you can charge it today and pay it off right here in the store, it's a really good deal you should do it."

Me: "Or I could just give you this cash in my hand and get the hell out of here like I had planned."

Cashier: "Yes that works too, here's your receipt"

Kohl's new slogan should be:
Kohl's... building credit card Nazi's one cashier at a time.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I love me some Wednesday

Ok, so the picture is a little silly, but I can't really post pictures from an actual investigation...

I wanna talk about Wednesdays.

Wednesdays are designed for two things in my mind: getting my nails done, and going to my friend's house to watch Ghost Hunters. Originally she had designed it so that our entire paranormal team could come over and watch the TAPS team in her home theater. (Usually that equated to 3 of us being a part of the fun)

Over the last 2+ years (wow, have I really been doing this for 2 years?) Wednesday nights have evolved into something else, and I have no complaints.

Now on Wednesday nights it is just the two of us. We hang out, tell each other about our crazy weeks, talk smack/ maybe complain, and most importanly...laugh. This evolution may have occurred because we became disenchanted with TAPS after leaving our affiliation with them. I think its 1 part that and 3 parts we just became really good friends.

Like I said, I am not complaining - just glad that our interest in the paranormal (and a group that inevitably fell apart) allowed us to cross paths.

It's funny how things happen isn't it?

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

shorty mcshortpants

Why being short is cool:
-I can wear really awesome shoes and not tower over my husband.
-I never have to worry about hitting my head on a light fixture
-In some way or another short people are just cute, it's true!
-I can fit in small spaces (which is unfortunate for me on investigations b/c I get put in some creepy places)
-I can do the limbo realllly easily
-I don't have to worry about people looking up my nose
-If I ever got into a fight with a tall person I could totally just run in between their legs and get away.

...ok, so some of those reasons were pretty lame, sorry.

Why being short is not cool:
-I have trouble looking over the counter at the bank
-I can't reach a lot of things in my cabinets and pantry
-bikes, exercise equipment, and office chairs have to be tediously adjusted before I can use them.
-sometimes when I sit on couches my feet don't touch the ground
-It is really hard to climb into big trucks. Or regular trucks for that matter.