Monday, April 26, 2010

Cougar country

This is Cougar Country, so watch your back!

Let me start with this simple truth:
My husband is a complete and total ham.

One of his jobs is at the local Starbucks being a Barista. At this Starbucks he usually has the drive through window under control.
He is a cheeseball with the ladies (young and old), makes funnies with the guys etc... Which generates very generous tips for that location.

It also generates a crazy pack of cougars who now want Mr. Jones, and his red beard.

They give him their numbers, they invite him to ride bikes with them, they give him their "card". They look for him while he is on vacation. They bring their daughters in to meet him. They refuse to believe that he is married.

No matter what he says about his wife, or being married, they just keep on. A lot of people ask me if that worries me. I laugh of course, as you can see illustrated by green arrow left. Sometimes I will stop by to bring him dinner on his break, and every once in a while there will be a cougar in there, possibly on the prowl...Brett will introduce me, and oh the funny looks I get. Brett is fairly oblivious and crazy, illustrated by green arrow right.

So I can just see it now - on the 5 o'clock news: Girl gets mauled by a pack of Cougars in the Starbucks parking lot.

Thanks Mr. Jones, thanks a lot.

(as you can see from the illustration - these cougars typically have crazy hair, crazy bad tans, and drive really expensive cars- they are terrifying. I hear that if you make really loud noises, or pretend that you are already dead they will leave you alone)


  1. Dude. I will totally kick some Cougar ass if need be. I can see it now, leathery-looking bleach blondes flying through the Sbux parking lot. :) It'll be like a really bad kung-fu movie.

  2. Crouching Ghost Hunter, Hidden Cougar. Box Office Hit. Kapow!