Monday, May 10, 2010

Of Mice and Canadians

Sometimes my relationship with Mr. Jones reminds me of Lennie from Of Mice and Men - in a accidentally squishing or hurting when he doesn't mean to sort of way.

I'm not saying Brett is going to crush me dead like a rabbit...but a few stories come to mind from our past that are perfect examples of me vs. him vs. gravity or some other universal law:
Like the time he hugged me and squished me until I puked. Or the times he gently "nudges" me and I go flying into a nearby wall. I think he forgets how damn big he is half the time!

However, I use his height as a crutch, and if I even think for a second that I can't finagle something from a top shelf in the house I go crying to him to help me get it. This particular evening I was trying to retrieve a pitcher from the top area of our cabinets.. way higher than I could reach even with a chair...

Me (in my whine-y voice): Hey hun, ummmm can you get this pitcher down for me?!
Brett: Sure, get on my shoulders and you can get it.
Me: I don't think that's a very good idea.
Brett: Of course it is! Hop on!
He crouches down so I can sit on his shoulders
And up we go! I hand him the pitcher and he sits it on the counter...
Me: Ok! Put me down please!!! It's scary up here! (his height+ my upper half means I am over 9ft tall at that moment)
Brett: Aw come on, you are fine, this is fun!
I notice we are headed for the kitchen light fixture so I duck, Brett mistakes my "ducking" for "slipping" and proceeds to throw me up and into said light fixture.
Me: *screams*

Then he kinda half ass drops me and I hold my head and some ice for the rest of the evening.
In conclusion, my birthday is coming up - so if anyone wants to invest in a human-sized gerbil ball for me that would be spectacular. I can't get squished or injured if I am in a bubble all the time.

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