scaredy cat

With the impending visit to the hospital to have this baby I have a good case of the scaredy cat. Pretty standard, pretty normal I am guessing. I have never had to go to the hospital to stay over night and the entire process has me a little jittery. So to take my mind off of that scaring me, I figured I would make a list of other things that scare me. And here we go.

Oh- and these aren't ranked in any particular order, I would say all are equally as frightening.

1) Spiders - seriously, any size spider. The teeniest most frail little spider in the world could be chilling in my bathroom and I will smash it so damn hard you can't even tell it ever existed (this generally consists of me leaving the shoe or weapon of choice on top of the creature, in case it decides to come back to life for a bit). The monster spiders with hairy legs and like their own zip codes? I usually stare at them wishing I could scream, and hope to hell someone else is around to kill it before it kills me.

2) drive through car washes - Aside from the fact that they can be terrible for your car's paint job, they are totally freaky! I can't handle those big ugly brushy things coming at the car windows. I would have to guess this is some form of claustrophobia and my mind telling me the huge machinery will crash through the glass and metal of my car and kill me, or give me a good scrubbing as well.

3) having to make new friends - I will say hands down that it is seriously easier for me to talk to dead people than to have to go out of my way to make a new friend (and considering my hobby in the paranormal realm - talking to dead people is my cup of tea) ha. Anyways, I can't figure it out. With the friends I do have I am not shy in the least, i'm generally pretty boisterous and animated. But put me in a situation where I have to add a new buddy to my personal circle? No thanks.

4) saying no - gah I hate this one. Telemarketers, door to door salesmen, family favors, you name it and I unfortunately have a hell of a time just saying no. This is probably a bad one to broadcast, but if it is any consolation I am getting better at this! I take on way more than I should more times than I should. It is my downfall. Only 3 good things come to mind when I think of situations where other people told me "you should have said no, why did you do that?!" and that would be when I took on our 3 dogs. I definitely don't regret saying yes to those phone calls.

5) confrontation - who doesn't try to avoid this? Well, nevermind there are plenty of drama queens out in the world just having a damn ball creating bullshit situations for everyone. I unfortunately developed a "brush it under the rug" type mentality which I must say isn't any healthier. I do try to keep myself out of the middle of stuff. Every once in a while someone will force me to be confrontational but I attempt to keep those people as far away as possible.

6) losing my creativity, or motivation to be creative. - Creativity is who I am, so I am scared of invisioning myself sans creativity. With the new family starting, and the general increase of responsibiliites I see my time to be creative slipping away. I hope that when Adeline is old enough to draw, paint, and the like I will be able to incorporate tons of crafty artsy me stuff.

Well, maybe it is baby brain, but that is all I can come up with for now. What are you afraid of?