Monday, February 13, 2012

Why I Can't Have Nice Things.

We are slowly yet surely getting settled into the house. I decided to conclude our nice weekend with a relaxing bath, you know, without baby monitor/dog bark/insert other usual noises here.

Our new bath tub is huge and it has jets, so that's pretty much awesome. I knew when we moved in every tub was scrubbed and cleaned by the cleaning ladies like a champ. But, just for good measure I would run a cleaning solution through one last time. Besides, I hadn't even figured out how to turn the jets on so this could be a good test run before I get my butt stuck in there and not figure out how to use the thing.

Sidenote- the people who owned this house before us were unbelievably huge, and their tub was no exception, I think I could fit 3-4 me size people in it comfortably.

So now the tub is full of hot water and cleaning solution and I cautiously (because I am still in pjs and a jacket) lean over to push the jet button. I am almost falling into the tub trying to reach the button on the side, I hear the jets start a low stream, and then I get a nervous little twitch because it looks like the water is shooting kind of high. Then BAM. A jet to the right of the tub shoots me, RIGHT IN THE FACE. I scramble trying not to fall into the tub yet swinging for the jet button before I get pelted with boiling hot water again. My pajamas, and jacket, along with my entire right side of my head are now soaked.

Of course I look around to see who saw this idiotic feat. Duh Stef, you are alone. So I laugh at myself for good measure. I re adjust the assaulting jets and finish the clean cycle. Drain.

Now it's time for the relaxing bath part right? RIGHT?

For Christmas I got some amazing bath fizzies from Lush in Canada. I pick this fizzy for tonight's relaxation. Let me also point out - My usual mantra is that life is too short for reading directions. Naturally bath products are no exception for me. I get the idea - bath salts and bath fizzies are pretty self explanatory, drop them in and let them work their magic. WRONG. Had I been smart (I mean maybe the blast of boiling hot cleaning solution to the face disoriented me momentarily) but had I been smart I would have read on the pretty little booklet Lush put into my box of fizzies that I need to add it AFTER THE WATER IS IN THE TUB. Not during the filling of the tub, but after. Oops. Too late to turn back now I am already in the tub. This tiny mishap coupled with turning the newly adjusted jets on resulted in more bubbles than I have ever had in any bath over the course of my entire life. So much so fast that bubbles literally crept up and jammed up half of my iPhone speakers(I had tunes on of course, well half way tunes now). As you can see in Image A - the slowly rising bubbles of doom:
I can't yell for help because Adeline is sleeping, so that would provide two scenarios for Brett's help. So I decide to try to dig a way through the bubbles to my phone so that I can send out an SOS text. I send "HELP. lol". And wait. And wait. I check the phone thinking well I guess I can try to call him but the speakers are jammed up. I then realize that the cry for help text was accidentally sent as a group text, to half of my family. Dammit. Seriously, what did I put in that cleaning solution?! I actually take a few pictures just to document the event should the bubbles actually eat me alive. I mean, the phone is already jacked up so what will a few more bubbles do? Image B: depicts a frightened bath taker, aka me:

Maybe 20 or so minutes later Brett decides to put his beloved book down and come check on me. Which really just consisted of walking in, saying "Holy shit where are you?!" and laughing.

My bathtub is a force to be reckoned with.

Moral of the story kids - when in doubt, read the directions!

No comments:

Post a Comment