Monday, December 10, 2012

Crap That People Have Forgotten About: TV Edition

Maybe, just maybe, I am a little bitter about The Walking Dead ripping my heart out by making viewers go through a 2 month grieving period until we can see new episodes. A mid season finale? Really guys? Who does that, oh wait you guys and Breaking Bad do. Why don't we just call it a separate season? End rant.

I don't recall shows doing that when I was growing up, and you know who wouldn't have made viewers go through this mid season finale crap?

Remember that mess? Dust off your brains a little and recall what a gem that series was. It delivered some terrible horror stories to us from 1989-1996. Obviously, I didn't watch it in '89 because I was 3, and that would just be crazy talk. I think watching it in the early 90's didn't do much for me either. I am sure it only further molded my creepy little mind. Perhaps being young, or not paying close attention- I have a few show details slightly askew, but I rather loved the show. When I mentioned to Brett that I thought the show was worthy of a Crap That People Have Forgotten slot he mentioned why he himself loved the show:

"I used to like that show because every once in a while I got to see a booby."
                                                                                        -Brett Jones

In case you have forgotten, it was hosted by the world's tannest mom:
Apparently, she used her show earnings to ride the botox wave after the show came to a close in the 90's, because her features in my opinion appear a little "fuller" than when she hosted the show:
  Blech, I know right? Get some sleep sister!

Joking aside, well, not too far aside - because I wanted to mention one of the crypt keepers corny tag lines "Hello Boils and Ghouls". That is, after the camera pans through his rather creepy mansion and into his basement where he pops out of a coffin cackling like an old woman. All that house and he decides to sleep in the basement, decaying men are weird. 

The show found a way to take what they considered some bone chilling plots to scare the pants off of you, and then sometimes add in a little twist of humor at the end. 

One episode I recall involved a group of nice looking teenagers taking a trip to the local swimming hole. They soon realized that there was a gooey lake blob munching them right up. I am pretty sure that that is the full synopsis. Hot teenagers -> Lake -> Blob -> Everyone dies.

Oh, and the best, an episode about a comic book artist that learns his illustrations have come to life and are running around all willy nilly and killing people. That episode spurred my 15 minute career as a monster illustrator/comic book artist. I couldn't quite get my monsters to look less cuddly and more "I'll eat your soul" so I quit. 

The show was one of the first to introduce some pretty sweet digitally created computer effects. 
Important thing for me to note - premise came from a comic book series ( I see a parallel... The Walking Dead). Granted, the episodes were only 30 minutes each, but they sure didn't pull any crap like a "mid season finale" so I think TWD should take note. And yes, I will be bitching about this until TWD returns in February. 

You can watch reruns of Tales From the Crypt on Fearnet NOW.

* In case any of you think I actually believe the world's tannest mom was the host of this show I would like to clarify that I am aware that the crypt keeper was a puppet voiced by John Kassir. 

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