Monday, November 15, 2010

Morning scene

It was Friday morning, and I was standing in the kitchen sort of blankly staring. I opened the fridge, and the blank stare washed over my face, and again as I opened the pantry. I finally turned my back to Brett and tears welled up in my eyes.

I wasn't really crying, it was more of a -I am frustrated, confused, and just plain sad kind of tearing up - Brett understood, and just gave me a hug.

Was I mad because someone ate my cheerios? No, I was mad because just a day earlier I got a call from my doctor's office. Apparently I have developed Gestational Diabetes. And try as I may, I couldn't get the blood test results to show in my favor this week. They went on to say that they were referring me to the hospital to meet with a specialist to get my diet "under control".

Under control? In case anyone hasn't noticed from a previous post - There is one thing that can be said about our household. WE DON'T EAT JUNK. There is no way that my husband would have lost 70+ lbs with little debbies and pints of ice cream hanging all willy nilly around the house. He wanted to lose weight, I wanted to grow a healthy baby. So we were doing that. Successfully.

I guess the frustration lies here: with the 1,000,000,000 pregnant people I am acquainted with I can understand how some may develop G.D. (love the acronym by the way) They don't care what they eat. They use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever the hell they want. Trays of baked goodies, ice creams galore, restaurants and take out every other meal. Weight gain that is staggering. But is G.D. the case with any of them? Nope, they get to pig out worry free. And in all honesty I won't lie to myself, I have gained - at 30 weeks in this pregnancy I am up, up 17 lbs.

In passing conversation with people over the weekend I have noticed something though. I even mention that I have G.D. and they look at me like I am already the worst mother in the world. I can' t really put my finger on how that makes me feel, aside from terrible. And when I think about the diet plan that awaits me with this weeks trip to the hospital, I cringe. Diet plan? I am sure there are a few snacks that I need to swap out or who knows what, but I just don't get it.

I guess I will just do even better than I already was and show this G.D. who the bitch in charge is. Right?


  1. You can't blame yourself, yes it's your mouth that puts that food in, but you aren't a terrible eater, you've got some shit genetics working against you. Having GD doesn't make you a bad mother either, even if you did eat crappy, it makes you American, so says your fat headed to D (without the G) diabetes :)

  2. ha i didn't finish my last statement
    let me try that again
    Having GD doesn't make you a bad mother either, even if you did eat crappy, it makes you American, so says your fat headed to D (without the G) diabetes big sis

  3. Like I told you, me of the normal blood pressure who had preeclampsia (extremely high blood pressure) during my pregnancy. It's just your pancreas being a little bitch. And she'll get over once A is born. And I know you'll be fine. Don't worry about it. And none of anybody's beeswax and if they want to be judgmental? Screw 'em!