After 3 years of a select few helping and supporting the group it had become apparent that I was just: A- winging it B-Coming up with random projects for us to try to focus on & C-having terrible issues with solid membership (and so on.)
Since COL was "my baby" I couldn't stand to let it go down the tubes. I would try fundraisers, workshops, field trips, and for the most part they were quite fruitless. I can recall my sister and I spending hours upon hours making things and organizing group functions. In the back of my mind I would ask myself - Is it worth it? Things aren't picking up, why don't we quit? But I knew that quitting meant that I did a terrible job leading a group. I now know that this isn't completely true, and that previous members that I always thought were total lazy bums, well maybe they were just busy. Who knows, but I do know that I am ready to let it go.
So hopefully I will find a new creative outlet, and repair the little hole I just ripped out of my heart.