closing a chapter

So today I pulled the plug on the art club I had formed 3 years ago. It was a really tough decision, but in the end a lot of it was about my ego and pride. Creative Out Loud was something that I had made with big wild ideas in mind. When the group slowly wasn't showing signs of the progress we had hoped it would- I still held on.

After 3 years of a select few helping and supporting the group it had become apparent that I was just: A- winging it B-Coming up with random projects for us to try to focus on & C-having terrible issues with solid membership (and so on.)

Since COL was "my baby" I couldn't stand to let it go down the tubes. I would try fundraisers, workshops, field trips, and for the most part they were quite fruitless. I can recall my sister and I spending hours upon hours making things and organizing group functions. In the back of my mind I would ask myself - Is it worth it? Things aren't picking up, why don't we quit? But I knew that quitting meant that I did a terrible job leading a group. I now know that this isn't completely true, and that previous members that I always thought were total lazy bums, well maybe they were just busy. Who knows, but I do know that I am ready to let it go.

So hopefully I will find a new creative outlet, and repair the little hole I just ripped out of my heart.