Good morning world.

Lately I have been hackling my dad for getting old and doing things that old people do, like forget what they are talking about, general absent mindedness, and trying to use their office phones for calculators. Oh dad. I think the poor man forgets how to walk straight sometimes.

And then...I pull some shit like this:

A few mornings ago I have to drag myself out of the bed to get ready for work. This usually occurs between 5:45am and 6:15am.

I mosey into the bathroom to brush the choppers, put my eyeballs in, fix the face, do the hair, the usual.

But this particular morning the brakes are put on at- putting my contacts in.

The left eye is a piece of cake, but the right contact falls out at least a dozen times. Then I can't see quite right so I swap eyes. I waste a half bottle of solution trying to get a move on things, and I stand there for 10 minutes in amazement and totally bewildered that this isn't working.

"Oh god Brett! I can't see a damned thing!" "Do you think my eyes got worse?!" "What's going on?!" And so on....

Brett, "Uhhh....where are MY contacts?"

Me, "Ah crap! Son of a bitch!...they are right here" I then proceed to remove his contacts from my eyes and hold them out for him.

Brett, (after laughing hysterically) "Hey, at least they are really clean now"

Needless to say I am laying off busting dads chops for a while.